BC

SCENE 1: The hospital ward echoed with the cries of a newly born infant. A nurse fainted. The doc's eyes were popped out at the sight he beheld for the first time in his 40 year gyny career. The kid, with dismaying wails started an immediate controversy. Though close to the critical male ratio of 2:1 a child with 3:0 could not be tagged as a male. "Atleast, I won't let it happen", the doc assured himself. In an emergency meeting, after 8 hours of rigorous discussion, the experts declared the kid as a "BOY". 3 experts were hurt, one seriously on what was more of a fight than a discussion and the doc resigned.

SCENE 2: The nurse got tired and cranked up of crying Pssss.... Pssss..., holding the boy. No urination, no stool, not even a drop, what's this! for the fifth day in a row . However the boy's appetite seemed to be rising as the days went by. Experts had no clues. Finally with no other alternative left, the boy was declared fit and given leave.

This boy grew up to be a handsome young man draped in rags; who did not care about what people around him were saying; if only he could hear them! You tell him that x movie is jhakaas -- he might respond that is it bakwaas -- not his fault but his hearing system was shutdown. Besides this he has a lot of other capabilities, well so he says, to compensate. To top them all, he has a very powerful sixth sense, that of hunger. His evening snack in mess runs for instance like -- 10 breads 8 butters 4 maggi and he has a nice, little, bumpy, pulpy, extraordinarily circular and immensely popular bulge to prove it. Apart from this he is a natural comedian and beats Johnny Lever flat in day to day comedy. His serious roles include "Rambo with a Chain". When he is an angry young man he plays "SHAKESPEARE" and his opponent "DEAF AND MUTE".

Let's do some QUICK TAKES on the man in question :--

He can sleep with his entire body balanced on his nose.
Scientists claim that if his constant vibrations are converted to electricity, we will have enough energy to send a spacecraft to moon.
It's easier to morph a monkey image to his than to morph a circle to a point.
Every month he goes for an outing to the bathrooms, just for a change he quips, when asked.
His pet dialogues that makes him so irresistable among the phone babes --"Bhago....."

HIS BRILLIANT MIND

I forgot to tell you about his brilliant mathematical mind. He had a 2 because one cannot divide 0 by 0,can one ?

After drinking juice at a vendor he gave 10 bucks. The vendor returned 5 bucks. Our hero wondered why the man gave him 5 bucks when he paid him 10.

During the tour he had an argument with a shopkeeper in Makkuland that 6+1 was not 7, well how it could be, if the genius says so.

ONCE HE ......

blushed when I caught him brushing his teeth, it was his first time in 10 days.

the light in his room was off at 2 in night as I suspected he had fever.

was trying to format someone else's hard disk using his own but he ended up with 2 formatted hard disks.

asked us to call the 'DARZI' to have his haircut.

told a chap to open his door pressing the 'CARRIAGE RETURN ' key.

used sentimental stuff on the mess servant munna to get his order served.

This list can go on...

In case if you remember any experiences or anecdotes of this extraordinary personality that you cherish, you are most welcome to mail them to me and they would be included with pleasure in this manuscript.

Amit Arora